Assignment C Optimized Press Release

Original Press Release:

http://westcoastkings.ca/media/press-release/

Optimized Press Release:

For Immediate Release: June 10, 2012

Udham Hundal

West Coast Kings Field Hockey Club

(604) 818-8535

www.westcoastkings.ca

West Coast Kings Host 2012 Canada Cup International Hockey Tournament

July 13-15, 2012 at Tamanawis Field, Surrey, BC #FieldHockeyCanada

Surrey, BC: After the success of last year's inaugural  Canada Cup International Hockey Tournament the West Coast Kings are pleased to announce that this year's field hockey tournament, featuring the world's best teams and highly skilled players, will run from July 13-15 at Surrey's Tamanawis Field. 

"Field hockey is one of the most challenging games played because of the amount of skill that it requires. Athletes can be fast and strong, but they also need to learn finesse to dribble and trap the ball. The goal of our widely experienced club will be to hone in on developing that skill base with the club's athletes," according to the West Coast Kings member board.

This year's second annual Canada Cup International Hockey Tournament will host a women's division and U12-U40 matches. All events are free to the public and complimentary parking will be available at Tamanawis Secondary School, 126 Street and 64 Avenue. Local community volunteers and businesses have also come together to provide free food and beverages during the three-day tournament.

About West Coast Kings Field Hockey Club: West Coast Kings is committed to elevating the sport of field hockey in Canada. The club has an open membership call and is primarily focused on players from the Lower Mainland. 

For more information about West Coast Kings Field Hockey Club email wckhockey@gmail.com or join their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/westcoastkingsfieldhockeyclub 

What I did and why:

• I enlarged and moved the logo to the right hand side.
• I moved the contact information to the top to make it more visible.
• I changed the headline to include all the most important information about the tournament to make it more informative and immediately clear to the reader what this news release is about.
• I added a hashtag to the subhead where twitter users can follow Field Hockey Canada to receive information about the subject and all the latest event news.
• I added a video (though not a very good one) that would engage the audience.
• I introduced keywords in bold red to help ensure that search engines are able to index them properly and make it easier for people to find the press release. I chose not to use too many keywords so that the story wouldn't get lost' and chose instead to focus on good content.
• I eliminated a lot of the "fluff" about the new field in the body of the press release as it did not add to the story
• Additionally I provided links to both the website and the Facebook page of the West Coast Kings.
• Lastly I would provide the reader with a "Share This" button that they could use to share this story on social media of their choice.